FAMILY SNIPPET – MARCH 2008
‘CALLING ALL DADS – OUT THERE’
I subscribe to the Care for The Charity newsletter and among others, I thought the following is valuable to share with my ‘dad’ friends out there.
I certainly identify with the opening illustration, because I learnt the same habit from my father-in-law to drive past the petrol garage until you are on the last drop. Of course you never know when the last drop is exactly and as a result I fell into that trap of running out of petrol a few times. However I hope you enjoy the article by Richard Hardy and maybe you are interested to join the event promoted below.
“Despite always telling me how important it is to plan ahead, my dad went through a phase of playing Russian Roulette with the needle on his petrol gauge. I think he believed that the car ran better on fumes than liquid petroleum. I’ll never forget the day the car sputtered and died, and we ended up pushing it 2½ miles to a petrol station. (Mum was not impressed!)
As dads, we can be very good at assuming everything will be okay. We ignore the warning lights and the needle hovering in the red because things have always worked out in the past. But, as with driving, a little forward planning can be crucial.
Never too late to start. One of the most important things you can do for your child is to make time for them. I really hope that my son remembers that I listened to his worries when he was six (and he thought girls were yucky). And then he might just talk to me at sixteen (when he’ll think differently) – and I’ll want him to discuss things with me then!
Of course it’s never too late to start making time for your kids. Even teenagers occasionally want to talk – usually at 2 a.m. But, just as driving on a mostly-empty fuel tank will damage an engine, I’ve learned that only giving my kids the dregs of my time at the end of the day can cause a breakdown. As a dad, I need to listen when they need to talk.
Kids are copy cats
Because they copy us, it’s important to teach our kids to respect others and themselves, and the best way we can do this is by showing them love. My hope is that if they know they’re loved unconditionally, they’ll feel less pressure to impress their peers and to ‘go with the crowd’. They won’t rely on their friends’ opinion for their sense of value.
Invest time in your kids and you’ll avoid running on empty – the benefits of a positive relationship will fill your emotional fuel tank. And, as they grow up, your kids will have learned how to refuel and keep their gauges on ‘F’ if they embark on the journey of parenthood themselves.
I recently read some funny descriptions of life as a dad. They made me laugh, so I thought I’d share them with you.
“Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.” – David Frost
“Everyone who has ever walked barefoot into his child’s room late at night hates Lego.” – Tony Kornheiser
“By the time a man realises that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.” – Charles Wadsworth
“Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.” – Rob Parsons
If you’re a dad, I hope you'll join me at A Rough Guide for Dads, which is coming to Cumbernauld on Tuesday 13 May and Dundee on Thursday 15 May. Together we'll take an honest and humorous look at life as a dad.
And you’ll be pleased to hear that there'll be no embarrassing group work – just you, me and some other fathers looking at what it means to be a dad.
Book online at http://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/events/events_single.asp?id=1093 or call us (01506)846476.”
If you are interested let me know, I will send you a brochure and maybe we can do a group booking and go together.
Clifford Herman
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