Genesis 32 and 33 tells the story of Jacob in returning to meet, his brother, Esau. Jacob earlier fled to his uncle Laban (who later became his father‐in‐law) because Esau pledged to kill him after Jacob stole his birthright. Jacob worked for Laban for several years and thereby came to marry his daughters. The eldest, Leah, he got tricked into marrying, after being promised the younger. As a result Laban got him to work another seven years so he could marry the one he really fell in love with, Rachel. With his two wives, his children and his possessions he set off to meet his brother. The story shows he was very afraid of his brother, but hoped Esau had by then forgiven him.
Jacob sent gifts ahead to Esau, but when Esau did not reply, he became more afraid. He was certain his brother was still angry and was on his way to take revenge. Jacob took precautionary measures, in case Esau was out to get him.
The part of the story I love is when Jacob come bowing to his brother in penitence, but discovered his brother was ready to embrace him, ready to accompany him, and even provide him with reinforcements to protect him.
The story does not say it in so many words, but the context seems to suggest that both men had a change of attitude. It reminded me of a time my wife and I were going though a rough patch in our relationship. It used to be a very painful experience. During those times I wished it didn’t have to be that way.
I thought about it many times and decided to do something about it. I decided to change my attitude. Every time we had an argument I wondered whether my anger toward my wife was worth sacrificing our relationship and our happinss. I decided that my relationship was more important. Somehow I began to appreciate my wife and our relationship and our happiness seemed more significant than the problem. The words ‘I am sorry’ and ‘I love you’ seemed to roll much easier from my lips than before. Since then our relationship has become so much easier and happier.
I’d like to believe that Jacob and Esau had the same change of attitude. I would also like to believe that a similar attitude has merit in becoming a golden rule for all families, including those who have difficulties in their home. Maybe, when we are tempted to be angry with our wives, our husbands, our children or our parents, we should ask ourselves, “Is my anger worth sacrificing my relationship with them?”
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